After a countless amount of planning and preparing, the test prep book people around the country have been waiting for was finally released just this past Friday. The book aims to help students achieve a perfect score with only one skim through. "It works 99.9% of the time, and I think that's pretty good." Stated the statistics manager, "I've had zero complaints from the 23 kids who've bought our book, and we're proud of the help it provides for our future generations."
We interviewed both a parent of the book, and the user. Here is what they had to say:
Eleanor White: "As a mother, I think I understand most the importance of my child's success. You just really want them to do well in life... This book changed all my worries after he went through it with the tutor they gave him. I'm glad to say I no longer have to worry about Johnny living in our basement for the rest of our lives. It really is a life saver."
Johnathon White: "Oh yeah, uhh...it was pretty cool. Goin' through the book with the tutor was kinda bothersom', I just looked at the test I was taking tomorrow though. But I got inta Harvard so... yeah, its great I guess. Can I go back to my games?"
For as little as $1999999.99, the book comes with a tutor who prepares students' memorization skills as they read through the answers of all subject tests, ACTs, SATs, and more for the next 5 years. The first edition of the new series even comes with a bonus "I scored a perfect on my SAT test!" pen with genuine gold ink and a diamond-base eraser. New York Times has promoted the book, stating it as "A must have for all households!" and many more calling it "no less than a miracle." with 100% satisfaction rates, it is deemed the number one test prep book of all time.
If this was not on your blog, I would have thought it was a real article from The Onion! I really like how you mocked the fact that even though the ACT and SAT are supposed to diminish the impact of background on college admission, statistics show that they actually do the opposite. You also did a great job mimicking the style of Onion articles. Nicely done, Sonja!
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