That's Some Tasty Soup

Satire comes in many shapes and sizes. In this particular case, a children's story- or rather, what appears to be a child-friendly story. Guess looks really can be deceiving, right? It is certainly not a book one should be judging the cover of. The "Don't judge a book by it's cover" saying in fact, is the basic concept behind the picture book  There's a Hair in My Dirt! A Worm's Story by Gary Larsen.  This story about the environment, and one that readily mocks the knowledge people have about the world they live in, is a masterpiece of irony.

The book begins with a worm unsatisfied with being, well, a worm; but, to be honest, who wouldn't be? Anyway, the worm, who happens to be the son of a worm family, is then told a story by his proud worm father. It is begun with a princess named Harriet and the lovely walk she takes on a particularly nice day. As dear princess Harriet saunters about, she points out many animals in her forest and speaks ideas that seem normal, until of course father worm elaborates on Harriet's observations, making her seem- unfortunately- rather stupid to be frank. Even more ironic though is the fact that Harriet's beliefs are real common misconceptions spread by ignorant people. The book also uses intense diction in comparison to its silly art style, and ends up being much more morbid than one would expect. Larsen's choice of picture-book format, which juxtaposes his plot and word choice,  puts a great amount of emphasis on his main point, that one should understand something before blindly accepting it as it is.

With unexpected high diction, and the ability to turn common belief into a stupidly absurd opinion, the book manages expertly to point out a huge flaw in society. The ending has quite an unexpected finish, but I won't spoil it for you. It's definitely a "children's" book you should check out when you get the chance.

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The Onion: Collaborative Test Prep Group Sells answers to top 1%

After a countless amount of planning and preparing, the test prep book people around the country have been waiting for was finally released just this past Friday. The book aims to help students achieve a perfect score with only one skim through. "It works 99.9% of the time, and I think that's pretty good." Stated the statistics manager, "I've had zero complaints from the 23 kids who've bought our book, and we're proud of the help it provides for our future generations."

We interviewed both a parent of the book, and the user. Here is what they had to say:
Eleanor White: "As a mother, I think I understand most the importance of my child's success. You just really want them to do well in life... This book changed all my worries after he went through it with the tutor they gave him. I'm glad to say I no longer have to worry about Johnny living in our basement for the rest of our lives. It really is a life saver."
Johnathon White: "Oh yeah, uhh...it was pretty cool. Goin' through the book with the tutor was kinda bothersom', I just looked at the test I was taking tomorrow though. But I got inta Harvard so... yeah, its great I guess. Can I go back to my games?"

For as little as $1999999.99, the book comes with a tutor who prepares students' memorization skills as they read through the answers of all subject tests, ACTs, SATs, and more for the next 5 years. The first edition of the new series even comes with a bonus "I scored a perfect on my SAT test!" pen with genuine gold ink and a diamond-base eraser. New York Times has promoted the book, stating it as "A must have for all households!" and many more calling it "no less than a miracle." with 100% satisfaction rates, it is deemed the number one test prep book of all time.

Pilate Analysis

Pilate is a woman who well represents the core values of feminism. Throughout the novel Song of Solomon, she is perceived as an odd and very unconventional character. This is by no means in a negative light, as she not only guides Milkman, but is also a guide for the women around her and even female readers. Strong and empowering, Pilate was not the average woman for the 1900s.

After the rough years putting up with other people, and the rejection by almost all men, Pilate finally realizes the time for change. "First off, she cut her hair" (Morrison 149) an action that goes against all societal norms. Hair, a very common symbol of beauty, wealth, and women, is rejected by the blade in Pilate's hand. "She didn't want to think about it anymore"; she would no longer allow societies standards make or break her own image.  Pilate in giving up "all interest in table manners [and] hygiene" again disowns all that should make a woman or define a "good" person. Although being unkempt is not necessarily a desired trait among anybody, it shows the power in Pilate, to take to her own beliefs and stand by them, not allowing any type of ridicule, by even her own brother at times to change the person she creates for herself. An illustration of how Pilate decides to show her own feminist values by casting off all things that are most expected of a woman.

The list could go on, by the clothes she wears to the ways she acts and presents herself. Pilate's decisions to act the way she does are a way to demonstrate that a woman is not a material good nor a prize to be won like what the many man choose to believe about them. If not for her bellybutton, or rather lack thereof, she would have never come to the realizations that most others in her time still live without knowledge that society's definition of a woman hardly defines what a woman could and should be at all.

The Color Palette

"Not people. White people."
                                                    
                                      ~Toni Morrison,  Song of Solomon

Here set black
Here set white
Wet the brush, now gently.
Lay the palette, oh so careful, rest in hand now softly.
A drop of blue set bottom left
Drop of red, the bottom right
Set now yellow at the top, brush in hand, it's ready. 

Damp, not dripping, the brush is lifted-- green, let's start with green.
Sweep blue up
Take yellow down
Midway they meet completely.
Swish and flow the two will mingle, more than one is necessary.
Mix now green with blue
And yellow with green
This created is tertiary.

Wash these colors from the brush, it's done to start anew
Do now the same with yellow and red
Then combine the red and blue
Orange, then purple, and all in between born freely.
It's what they call the color wheel. Believe it's done? Ha! Hardly.

There waits white
There waits black
Time to add them in, blend kindly.
Greys created, both dark and light, give to other colors now generously.
White to make tints of red
Black, the Shades of blue
For tones of yellow add a grey, a bit odd maybe-- it will do.

Must a repeat be described?
Must it go on to explain?
A single color does not paint a picture
That idea is foolish and vain
Colors in all kinds of shapes and sizes, the endless possibilities
Infinities inside infinities
The paintings now rest their case.


Just as there are many colors on a palette, there are skin colors, and personalities with depths and complexity that cannot be categorized in a single small sentence. The process that makes up each and ever person is limitless. To define a group by one shade, by one stereotype, by one category, is completely wrong. Although there can be truth in stereotypes and ideas behind certain people, just as there are white and black in many colors, they do not define people individually nor as a whole.

Snakes and Pilots From Both Sides

"Just listen to what I say. That woman's no good. She's a snake, and can charm you like a snake, but still a snake."
                                      ~Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon


In the book of Genesis chapter 3, Eve comes across a serpent. This serpent is one who deceives Eve into disobeying God, telling her to eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. It is an act that not only causes Adam to go against God's will, but also births sin into the world forever. A well known part from the Bible, this is the story where Satan, the serpent, takes advantage of Eve's innocence and leads her and Adam to commit their first acts of sin. Within Song of Solomon, Macon Dead compares his sister Pilot to a snake, warning Milkman to stay away from her.

Within the Bible, the serpent is extremely cunning and charming; traits that lure people in, like Eve, and cause them to act in a way that harms them in the end. Macon Dead makes the same claims, stating that, "[Pilot] is a snake, and can charm [Milkman] like a snake" (54) the very traits of Satan the serpent. At this time in the book, neither the reader nor Milkman can tell whether or not Macon Dead's words are true. It would seem that after the previous scenes where Milkman interacts with Pilot that his father is only attempting to vilify Pilot for his own selfish reasons and not out of warning Milkman. But this could also be the author attempting to trick the readers into falling for Pilot instead of Macon Dead, just as Eve falls for the Serpent's honeyed words.

Pilot's name is also a bad omen in itself. In the book of Matthew, Pontius Pilot is the very man who condemns Jesus Christ to the cross. Although he is reluctant to do it, as he questions the people's hate for Jesus, in the end, it is he who gives the command. Pilot in the book, she herself may be a character who is not a serpent, but one who causes complications for the Dead family for reasons the reader is still unknown to early in the novel. Eve is an innocent character who tricks Adam into the eating of the forbidden fruit. Pilot's role could be the same, her intentions may be good, but the outcome only causes further dilemma.

Live On and Remember

Pain would seem like something people want to try forget, it is after all, not exactly the most enjoyable thing out there. So why is it then, that people choose to remember, to mourn, to look back upon such things- Why do people want to go back to those times and think about them? It logically doesn't really make sense. Life would probably be much simpler and easier without such memories. But they do; They look back on those days, and remember.

Everything people experience, whether it be good or bad, allows them to grow into who they are and who they become as life goes on. If one only remembers half of all that happens, then the turnout is only half-baked. Remembering pain is accepting it, but it is not a defeat. It does not mean that you are done because it happened. It means you go on knowing you won't let such things stop you from looking forward. Take the instance on September 11th, 2001, where many were killed, and the World Trade Center was destroyed. People could have chosen to forget; have the building rebuilt, the rubble disposed of. All could again be "fine and dandy." But not only would that be truly killing the many who died, but it would also have stopped the progression of growth for the country. A period where people discovered that they would not let a tragedy end their wish to survive, and could choose to live for those who passed on, changing the country and creating a future where such tragedies can be avoided.

Do So Directly

"They were sitting at either end of the couch, looking at each other as if some question had been asked, or was in the air, and every vestige of embarrassment was gone."

                                                                            F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby



"Communication is key"- This was the exact phrase passing through my head  as I imaged Gatsby sit with Daisy for the  half hour Nick was not present to watch them exchange feelings and take a 180 degree turn on the mood. But the scene really demonstrates the saying to be quite true. Befor Gatsby is more comfortable with Daisy, they exchanged clumsy, awkward greetings in a way that would make anyone cringe with embarrassment. At one point Gatsby even childishy cries to Nick, regretting his decision to meet with her. It was more than likely he though that Daisy would not reciprocate his feelings, figuring she wanted nothing to do with him. Amazingly enough though, between the time they get together and the time Nick rejoins them, the two speak about- although explicitly unknown to the reader-their past and the feelings held between them. It was not even a long time frame, where the two could have gone back and forth, hinting but never quite actually saying what they intended.

It just goes to show that the more direct one is about a situation, the more likely the truth will spill out, whether it be favorable or not. I have a friend who is especially good at this. Conveniently, it was only just recently I had discussed with her about such a character trait. She's only ever had good things to say about being exact on what she means, instead of beating around the bush, hoping whomever she speaks to can take the hint. It is also something I definitely appreciate about her as well; there are never guessing games. Although it is a hard thing to do, to communicate the honest truth can be the difference between an awkward exchange or the warm remembrance of an awoken past.